Waves of Emotion
I’ve come to realise that my emotions and the landscapes that live inside me, are changing all the time. There are moments of dry, vacuous desert, in which the world appears to be harsh and hard to be in; times when I live on or bellow the ocean, drowning in sadness, or riding the gentle waves of my feelings. There are bouts of bright green, when everything is lush and full of life, blue skies and friendly clouds and the world looks perfect in its peace. There is even an icy-mountain range within me, painted with sharp, insurmountable peaks where a frozen, absence lurks.
All and more form part of my day-to-day experiences colouring my moods, my thoughts, my perspectives and even the way I show up in the world.
It’s been a rough, few weeks for me, and a difficult time, to say the least, having received bad news about the health of a person very close to me. So, my internal world has been through the ringer, with incredible degrees of pain, stress, fear, anger…you name it: my emotions all expressing themselves in their extremes and the landscapes that I am journeying through have taken me to dark, lonely places, with lots of sea voyagers where I find myself thrown over-board and swallowed by water.
But the amazing thing is and the thing that I am noticing with awe and gratitude is that even now, I find myself in moments of amazing strength, resilience, gratitude, enormous trust, faith and so so so much love. Even after a difficult night, I can wake up on a sunny beach with a big palm tree overhead, feeling ok, and experiencing a calm, peaceful space inside me, where I know that I have everything I need to face the world as it is, not just as I would want it be.
The thing is that these waves of emotion ebb and flow and I am learning to allow the ebb of flow, without needing to control what is or what is coming. I am learning to accept all of it and to be wherever I am: sometimes out in the cold and sometimes, in front of a warm fire. I have once again been brought down to earth by life itself and the humanness of my humanness is being shown to me in so many ways.
At the same time, my spirit is showing up in equal measure, highlighting the power that also lives in me: in how I work with myself, how I talk to myself, how I forgive and love myself and those around me. We are all mere mortals but we are also extraordinary forces of energy, capable of traveling from the arctic to the Caribbean, and back, in just a few seconds, minutes, hours, days.
Sending out beams of healing light to all and any that need it. And wishing everyone a safe and joyful holiday.
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